‘I want you to help me stop my son gambling,’ an anxious father said to his boy’s principal. ‘I don’t know where he gets it from but it’s bet, bet, bet.’
‘Leave it to me,’ said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy’s father. ‘I think I’ve cured him,’ he said.
‘Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, ‘I bet that’s a false beard.’
‘How much?’ I said, and he said ‘$5 ‘
‘What happened to Casino Extra?’ asked the father.
‘Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me $5. I’m sure that’ll teach him a lesson.’
‘No, it won’t,’ said the father. ‘He bet me $10 this morning that he’d pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!’
Bubba is put before the judge’s bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex.
‘How do you plead?’ asks the judge, to the defendant.
‘Not Guilty, your honor.’
Showing him a videotape of the alleged act, the prosecutor responds, ‘How can you possibly convince the court of your innocence, if we have both the sex act, plus your subsequent payment to the alleged prostitute right here on tape?’
‘Easy,’ says Bubba, ‘I’ll admit to the court that although I wasn’t engaged in an act of prostitution, I was committing another ‘heinous’ crime, gambling.’
‘Gambling?’ responds the prosecutor, ‘How so?’
‘Well you see,’ answers Bubba, ‘I went up to the young lady earlier that night as she was working in a topless bar and said to her, ‘I’ll bet you $200 that you don’t get to have sex with …