‘I want you to help me stop my son gambling,’ an anxious father said to his boy’s principal. ‘I don’t know where he gets it from but it’s bet, bet, bet.’
‘Leave it to me,’ said the principal. A week later he phoned the boy’s father. ‘I think I’ve cured him,’ he said.
‘Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, ‘I bet that’s a false beard.’
‘How much?’ I said, and he said ‘$5 ‘
‘What happened to Casino Extra?’ asked the father.
‘Well, he tugged my beard, which is quite natural, and I made him give me $5. I’m sure that’ll teach him a lesson.’
‘No, it won’t,’ said the father. ‘He bet me $10 this morning that he’d pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week!’
Bubba is put before the judge’s bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex.
‘How do you plead?’ asks the judge, to the defendant.
‘Not Guilty, your honor.’
Showing him a videotape of the alleged act, the prosecutor responds, ‘How can you possibly convince the court of your innocence, if we have both the sex act, plus your subsequent payment to the alleged prostitute right here on tape?’
‘Easy,’ says Bubba, ‘I’ll admit to the court that although I wasn’t engaged in an act of prostitution, I was committing another ‘heinous’ crime, gambling.’
‘Gambling?’ responds the prosecutor, ‘How so?’
‘Well you see,’ answers Bubba, ‘I went up to the young lady earlier that night as she was working in a topless bar and said to her, ‘I’ll bet you $200 that you don’t get to have sex with me tonight’. That videotape is just footage of me losing the bet!”
Two bored Casino Extra dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The dealers agree.
She says, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m half naked.’ With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, ‘Momma needs a new pair of pants!’ She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.
‘YES! I WIN! I WIN!’ With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.
The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, ‘What did she roll anyway?’ The other answers, ‘I don’t know. I thought YOU were watching the dice!’